New Year, New me.

Wow a lot has happened since I last posted. I am currently visiting the girlfriend, and in France. My new year's eve was spent having a serious discussion which involved a few tears. We have decided to break up. The main reason being the fact that she is French, I am English, there are differences in the way we think, the language is often a barrier to what we really want to say, and it is difficult having a long distance relationship over two countries. Great. So that ends a two and a bit year relationship. However, she wants us to remain friends and see each other (which lets face it means sleeping together) again in the near future. The thought of not seeing her again makes me shudder. She has bean such an important part of my life and the thought of her not being there.. but then at the same time, it is going to be so hard to arrange to meet her when we are no longer together. Not to mention if I end up fooling around, which I have been known to do in the past, will she still meet me? what are the rules regarding this?

So think about it for a second, we decided to break up on the 1st of January, it is now the 5th. That has been 5ish days of being together, but not really together. Although I have had fun, it has been difficult. I find myself snapping at her quite a lot, most of the time has been with her family also so I have had to make an extra effort to speak and understand French (I really SUCK at French) which often left me out of the conversation. If we were together I would not mind making this effort, but I feel selfish now.

I go home tomorrow, and she is cooking me my favourite meal tonight when she gets back from Uni. What the hell are we going to be like when I actually leave? I don't want to feel shit about it anymore.

So New year, New me. I am single. I am ready to tell my friends, one of which is getting married and told me I cant bring anyone but her, I am ready to face the world alone. Or am I? The thought of going out single excites me a little, the thought of dating or getting a new girlfriend horrifies me. I can't be bothered with any of it. Maybe I shall just shut myself off from people emotionally.. HA as if that's possible.

It is decided, new years resolution: drink less, go out more and find someone who will be my best friend and occasionally sleep with me with no strings.  Piece of cake.