Work started today. I packed my bag. I have no car at the moment as it is broken. My parents drove me. I felt like the student going back to work rather than the teacher. It is nice to be back. To have the routine, a few students even gave me a present. I spoke with my boss for a while, and everything is looking good. I EVEN GOT A FREE RAINCOAT! Brill.
It is tainted though, by the recent events. I was relieved to get back to England and to sleep in my own bed. My friends took me to the pub to cheer me up; I had a few beers, nothing crazy. The first song I heard in public in England was Adele- Someone like you. Every time I am alone I think back to what went wrong, what could I have done better, why it didn’t work... and it’s depressing because I can never find a moment in my memory where I could have changed anything. It was the right thing to do, how could it have worked? Well this is what I keep saying to myself anyway. I am hurting, and I am not sure how to make it go away.
I asked my parents today, if love changes over time. Do they still feel the same way they did when they got married? They said they didn’t and that it always changes over time. Is this what happened? Did the love just change and it scared us? Who knows, I certainly don’t.
Young free and single.... what is next?
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