What the hell?

Stole this from another blog... thanks!

I just re-read the last post on my blog, and I’m not going to lie. I was bored. So I decided to do a little more, work less, mope less and make some more memories to tell you about...

I went out with my boss, and a few people who were above me at work on Wednesday. I got drunk, then went back to work. No it is not as bad as that! I had a few beers with a meal. Why is it that things go better when you have had a few? My boss (the only lesbian I know of in a twenty mile radius) looked a lot more attractive through my beer goggles. Well at least I am hoping that it was the beer goggles because that crush would be awkward and highly inappropriate. She is quite tactile, and I’m not so I think I definitely read too much into the hugs she often gives out. But if you were my boss, and knew I was gay, and knew I knew you were gay... what the hell do hugs mean? Why do I care? A guy who used to work with them was there as well, he was BRILLIANT. He told so many stories of what she used to be like, and he made everyone laugh. May have outed myself to work people too, but I kind of think it went ok. I mean no-one is treating me differently and it is a GREAT relief. I don’t like lying, mainly because I suck at it.

Thursday I went out with my work buddies. This guy who came, Mike, is a massive twat. I have not told him anything about my life because he is the kind of guy who constantly takes the piss. He always has to have the last word, always needs to have one over on you, admittedly I am like this too so you can imagine how we get on. Mike was there however, and he kept making little comments to make me feel uncomfortable like ‘so what is your type Georgia?’ and ‘you don’t like him? Why? Is it because he is male’ which was horrible as I was still not sure who knew what. If you come out it has got to be to everyone at the same time, and if your already out you probably shouldn’t let people think you are straight... I have 1. Left it long enough to be awkward if I told anyone now and 2. Definitely mentioned it by accident to certain people and not others. The girls were there and another nice guy from work so it went well despite Mike trying to make me feel like shit. When we got back from the restaurant, a few of them went to the pub, but I was not really in the mood. I had a smoke with my boss. I know, perfect opportunity to flirt, but I really don’t think I want to! I just wanted a chat and to go to bed. It is FREAKILY cold lately and the thought of walking to the pub was just too much. Plus I was working early so this is my excuse for not having a massive night.

Friday I worked until 12 then went straight to the pub. The whole of work was there, so a lot of drinks were bought for me from senior management. I was pretty drunk. I was supposed to get a train home, buy a card for my mum... so I left the pub and walked to the corner shop. I managed to persuade my boss to come with me, and we looked at cards, made gay jokes and yes I am more tactile after a drink. We got to the desk to pay, and there were buy one get one free earrings... we now have matching earrings (AWKWARD!). It got to about 9pm, several shots/pints/dares later I am stumbling back to the house to grab some stuff and my bike. I have thrown my cigarettes on the floor by accident, fallen over a few times by the time I get to the station. I am waiting for the train and I am pretty sure I rang my ex. Next thing I know, I am cycling up my to my parents house in the snow. No idea how I got home, but when I did, my parents have friends over and a full party! SAVE! No-one has to know I was drunk!

My mum’s birthday went off without a hitch, I went out with them last night so I am pretty tired today. I rang my ex to see if she was ok. I said some pretty horrible things, like go away, leave me alone. I asked her to call me and then I just shouted abuse down the phone. She sounded ok about it I guess. I know this is boring to keep going on about her, but I can’t help it. I go to bed thinking about her, wake up thinking about her and its getting silly. WE BROKE UP. I keep telling myself and reminding myself that it doesn’t work. Today I was watching tv, there were some really fit women in it, but I couldn’t even concentrate on that. I am starting to get kinda desperate, especially if I am looking at my boss through beer goggles (God help me). I don’t want to bother her, or get back together, but would be super ace to have a cuddle and maybe make out a bit.

NO NO NO. I need to go out more, work more and find someone else who wants a snog. Right? Lifeguard course tomorrow. That should keep my mind of things. If I find a girl that looks half decent in a swim suit I will let you know. Cup of tea anyone?